It’s time to play Book Trivia! Periodically, we scour the Internet for interesting authors who would like to play Book Trivia with us. By answering our book trivia questions, we get to learn things about the author no one else knows! So, let’s get ready…let’s play…
Today our guest author is Herbert Howard Jones, author of the fantasy young adult novel, The Pyewiz and the Amazing Mobile Phone. You can visit his website at www.science-fiction-fantasy.com to find out more about him and his new book!
Thank you for playing Book Trivia with us, Herbert. Here are your questions:
If Tom Hanks, in the movie Cast Away, unearthed a copy of The Pyewiz and The Amazing Mobile Phone, how would that help Tom find a way off the island?
This is an easy one, as travel features quite largely in my book. In theory, Mr Hanks would be able to get off the island by using ‘the amazing mobile phone’. This device, otherwise known as an IST, (interstellar transducer), can take you anywhere in the universe that you want, providing you put in the correct coordinates. The problem is knowing what coordinates to put it. I mean, he doesn’t want to overshoot and end up on Mars, does he? But there is an accessible Faq data base in the phone which should tell him what to do. However, being a bit of a Robinson Crusoe improviser, and not having IST technology to hand, my book would remind him to build a raft, because there is a scene in my book where the characters depend on this ancient mode of transport to escape a flood!
Everyone knows rock star idol Brittany Spears is always in trouble with everything you can think of. In what way could your book help her and set her life back on track?
I hear that there was speculation that Britney Spears, at one point, was going to have twins, and that is one of the themes of my book. In my book, it is the separation of twins which gets the story rolling, and the hope that they be reunited that provides the momentum. Perhaps this would remind Britney that she can get back on track by concentrating more on being a mother, and exploring that role more in depth, and then perhaps having another child.
You have a chance to appear on the hit talent show for authors, American Book Idol, with judges Simon Cowbell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi determining whether your book will make it to Hollywood and become a big screenplay. What would impress them more – your book cover, an excerpt or your best review – and why?
Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson are very very shrewd, and are only interested in how substantial or commercial a proposition is. Obviously a good review would initially get them interested in my book. But clearly, it would be the content of my book that they would consider, and a well chosen excerpt from it, should give them a flavour and indication of the project as a whole. Both judges strike me as being opposites in a way. Whereas Randy would be cognisant of some of the subtle under currents of my novel, Simon would focus on how the story, as a potential screenplay, would impact on the viewer. I couldn’t think of two better judges! If they give my book the thumbs up, it will be because I’ve got tons of action and dialogue in it, (dialogue which is deliberately written for easy conversion to the medium of film).
Hulk Hogan, the famous wrestler and star of his own reality show, has invited you and your book to appear on his show. One catch. You have to read a passage out of it to convince him you are star material. What part would you read?
I’d read the passage he would like best, the sword fight between Terry and the Pyewiz! Being a fighting man, I’m sure Mr Hogan would appreciate the sound of steel on steel, and the thumping of fancy footwork on deck!
They’ve invented a board game using the theme of your book. What would the title of it be that would be different from your book and which retail store would they place it to make the most sales?
Are you sure you haven’t been reading my book when you phrased this question? Because a board game is actually central to the last half of my book! It was invented by the Pyewiz and is called Guns n’ Galleons, and is designed to keep his crew on it’s toes. My preferred retail outlet would be Toys R Us, in Times Square New York!
The Arbor Day Foundation has decided to pick one tree in your honor because of your writing brilliance. What kind of tree is it and why did they choose that tree in relation to your book?
There is actually an important tree in my book, and it is mentioned in the first chapter. It is a gnarled tree which was irradiated by gamma rays centuries ago by aliens, but still survives in the snowy terrain of Charon. It is the very tree which marks the spot where ‘the Book of Hours’ was buried, and subsequently dug up from, changing the course of the story. Perhaps the strange looking Chinese Huangshan Pine tree would foot the bill, as it grows on the snowy Huangshan Mountain. There is a mountain in my novel called Chequerboard Mountain, in an area similar in some respects to the Huangshan region.
President Barack Obama has become the author of several books and he has requested your presence at a special hush hush meeting to discuss ways to promote it. Through luck of the draw, you were chosen. What would be the first thing you would tell Barack?
After telling him how much, we in Britain respect and admire him, I would obviously draw his attention to Pumpupyoubookpromotion, as being one of the most dynamic book promoting agencies on the net. However clearly, with his budget, the entire media is at his disposal, and so there isn’t much he doesn’t know about drumming up publicity. But I would ask him to invest some of this budget in a big children’s book giveaway, this is in view of the government’s latest policy of destroying all children’s book printed before 1985 because of dangerous lead content.
Finally, you just got word that your book has received the 2009 NY Times Bestselling Book Award and you have to attend the ceremony at the Four Seasons Hotel in Manhattan. Anyone who’s anyone will be there and it’s your shot for stardom. On stage, you must give an acceptance speech. What would you say and who would you thank?
Obviously I would thank my publisher and PR coach Dorothy Thompson, who really made me believe that there is a sentient life for an author online. I would also like to thank my readers, who are the backbone of the industry, and without whom there would be a mountain of paperbacks with no homes to go to. I would stress the debt that a writer has to his readers, and that they cannot, for one second, ever be taken for granted, and that an author should go to the ends of the earth for them! Readers are getting savvier and savvier all the time, and so we must try our hardest as writers to meet their requirements and never ever resent the demands made by them. A reader who buys a book, obviously expects to be entertained, and properly informed, but deep down is also probably looking for an answer to the ‘dilemma of being human’ and so we must always strive to give our readers hope! Finally, I would thank my family for putting up with my perpetually worn dressing gown, and ubiquitous cigarette holder, which almost had grandma’s eye out!