Los Angeles-based comedian, radio DJ, and host of the Sick and Wrong Podcast, Dee Simon has written a collection of comical and gut-wrenching personal essays about his experience as a strip club DJ in San Francisco in the early 2000s. Most of the stories in the book concern sex, drugs, venereal disease, and diarrhea or a combination thereof. Therefore, if you lack a sense of humor or are easily offended, you should probably put this one down. Having the “wet dream” job of most adolescents, Simon offers a biting, realistic, and hilarious depiction of what goes on “behind the black velvet curtains” at a gentlemen’s club from the perspective of the guy upstairs with the cheesy voice spinning Def Leppard songs.
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A former strip club DJ has told how the music he played affected how much money dancers made in a night.
Dee Simon, spun the decks at various lap dancing venues across San Francisco for five years, and during that time he learned that the women tended to prefer working to hip-hop or R&B tracks.
He explained to SFBC: ‘I mistakenly assumed that all strippers danced to Motley Crue or Guns N’ Roses. Those bands had loads of strippers in their videos… In reality, they don’t dance to hair metal.’
Stories to tell: Former strip club DJ Dee Simon has told how the music he played affected how much money dancers made in a night – and most strippers preferred hip-hop and R&B
Most of the the girls working at the clubs would put in song requests at the DJ booth.
Popular demands included The Notorious BIG’s Hypnotize, Tupac’s How Do U Want It and Hot In Herre by Nelly.
‘I despised the song Hot In Herre by Nelly,’ Mr Simon, who used the moniker DJ Dirty Sanchez, recalled.
‘Try listening to that wretched song 12 times a night, four nights a week, and then see how many times you contemplate suicide. It’s been years and I still cringe when I hear it.’
DEE SIMON’S STRIP CLUB PLAYLIST
- The Notorious BIG’s: Hypnotize
- Tupac’s: How Do U Want It
- Nelly: Hot In Herre
- R. Kelly: Feelin’ On Yo Booty
- Shorty: Got Her Eyes On Me
- Adina Howard: T-Shirt & Panties
- H-Town: Knockin’ da Boots
- Jodeci: Freakin You
While he ‘despised’ the music, Mr Simon met requests because he wanted the strippers to make as much money as possible.
This meant that he would receive good tips at the end of the night. Like the dancers this is how he primarily made his living, and most nights he would walk away with $1,500.
Detailing how the system worked he said: ‘At the end of my shift, I’d head downstairs while the girls cashed out with the managers and wait by the front door to make it as awkward as possible for them to leave without tipping me.
‘Most of the seasoned dancers would tip or explain that they didn’t make enough money that night and would take care of me the next time we worked together. I was satisfied with that explanation.’
Occasionally Mr Simon said he would start ‘f******’ with the music if girls did not tip him several nights in a row, which would lead to backstage disputes.
Upbeat: Mr Simon said it was important to select the right music tracks otherwise he wouldn’t receive tips from the dancers, which is how he primarily made a living
He also faced pressure to perform from club managers who wanted to keep the atmosphere ‘uptempo’. If he selected the wrong tracks Mr Simon said he risked ‘invoking the wrath’ of his boss.
Mr Simon, who previously worked in radio and media production, got his first DJ job at a gentleman’s club on Broadway, in San Francisco, after a brief spell of unemployment in 2000.
While some men might see it as a dream gig, Mr Simon, said he looks back at his career with ‘regret’.
‘I think The Wrestler offered a very accurate portrayal of the depressing reality of a strip club’
At the clubs he revealed that he was often forced to deal with ‘frightening individuals’, play music that he hated and gradually became apathetic towards women.
The former DJ decided to detail the ‘mishaps and shenanigans’ he experienced, in a tell-all book titled Play Something Dancy, released last October.
‘I had several notebooks filled with amusing stories but never really did anything with them,’ he explained.
‘It wasn’t until two years ago when I moved to Los Angeles and was unpacking some boxes, I found my journals and decided to officially write some of the stories down in book form.
‘Sadly, all of the stories in the book are quite true; however, in order to protect myself from criminal prosecution and civil liability, names, locations, and identifying characteristics had to be changed.
‘A lot of the stories in the book are humiliating and some involve venereal disease and diarrhea.
‘There’s a definite reason the full title of the book is Play Something Dancy: The Tragic Tales of a Strip Club DJ.’
In the book he talks about women, most of which were single mothers, with little emotion. One is described as having ‘mammoth fake breasts’ and another with a ‘My Little Pony tramp stamp’ on her back.
Asked what films give a true flavor of what goes on behind-the-scenes at lap dance clubs he said: ‘I think The Wrestler offered a very accurate portrayal of the depressing reality of a strip club.
‘I also thought that Tarantino did an excellent job of showing how much of an asshole strip club owners can be in Kill Bill Vol 2.’
Summing up his DJ strip club career Mr Simon said: ‘Rather than boast about my various sexual exploits and deviant acts, I regret having had to endure them.’
Mr Simon currently lives in Los Angeles, where his is pursuing a career as a comedian and author.
ABOUT DEE SIMON
Dee Simon is a graduate of the University of Michigan. He lived in San Francisco where he hosted Rampage Radio, a metal and punk rock radio show on KUSF 90.3 FM. During that time, he also worked as a strip club DJ in gentlemen’s clubs located across the city. In 2006, he started up his own comedy podcast called Sick and Wrong Podcast which is recorded on a weekly basis. Currently, Dee lives in Los Angeles where he is pursuing a career as an author, comedian, and cruise ship magician. Play Something Dancy is Dee Simon’s first book.