Tamara Elizabeth is a speaker, author, self love coach, radio host, a master motivator of women in transition, conductress of motivational seminars, professional photographer, small space designer, lover of social media, mother of 5, and a fabulously loveable woman after her first 50 years. She is determined to create a revolution of women.
Tamara started her life over at fifty and believes that if she can do it, any woman can. That’s when she decided to take her experiences and help others with her latest book, Fabulously Fifty and Reflecting It! – Discovering My Loveable Me.
I have 4 greatest accomplishments in my life – my 4 grown children. My next greatest joy is my step son that I have had the honor of nurturing for the past 7 years.
Visit her website at www.moximize.me.
Q: Thank you for this interview, Tamara. Can you tell us what your latest book, Fabulously Fifty and Reflecting It! – Discovering My Lovable Me, is all about?
This is the story of Tamara Elizabeth, my story of a woman who has discovered how through my own reflections, the truly fabulously lovable self; the authentic woman that I was born to be. I now live with moxie like the trail blazing women of the 20’s.
It is the reflection of my journey and from these reflections I created a workbook for you, the readers, to assist you on your own journey to find the most authentic loveable you. The “Me” is your voice. I speak as you. I have been where you have travelled.
I invite you into my world and to reflect upon your world. Enjoy the journey – I promise you it will be the most fabulously wonderful ride of your life.
I found myself having to start life all over again at 50. My 2nd marriage crumbled under the weight of my husband’s addictions to alcohol and prescription drugs and I had to leave that life behind to save my soul. It was a difficult and scary decision to make but I new I had no other choice. With therapy and coaching I realized my level of self-love and then my self worth was only measured by me not the measuring rod of others. I took my essays that I had written as part of me healing process and created a workbook with the hopes that the experiences I have faced head on will help other women hurdle their challenges and see the amazing light that is at the end of every tunnel.
Q: What kind of research did you do before and during the writing of your book?
Reflecting on my past and being certified as a self-love coach. Using the tools I have been taught to learn the lessons of all my challenges, with no regret, guilt, blame or shame. I did a great deal of personal growth and self-reflection to create this workbook to help other women trying to traverse their transitions.
Q: If a reader can come away from reading your book with one valuable message, what would that be?
Never give up. Life is a roller coaster and all the twists and turns are in front of you for reason. Celebrate everything you experience, forgive everything, especially yourself, and be grateful for every minute of the present. Learn from the past, and then let it go; live in the present and breathe in every moment; then reach for the future with you goals and dreams.
Q: Can you give us a short excerpt?
Looking at Life in Six Words
My/ Frog /Turned/ Prince /Now /Croaked
There is a very good writing exercise for budding writers to learn to get their topic out in a concise manner. Take your topic or idea in mind and express it in exactly six words.
So to date this is my life in six words. Seven years ago when I ran into my high-school sweetheart after thirty years apart, I thought I had found my prince. I had just come from a very mutual divorce from my first husband of twenty-three years that had evolved into mundane and unexciting. We parted company with a shake of hands and our four grown kids being the best accomplishment of the union.
Then when I came across my high-school sweetheart, it was love at first sight again. Time seemed to never have passed, although a lot of things had in our lives. We were engaged shortly after meeting and married a year later in the most beautiful place in the world – Santorini, Greece. My stepson lived with us full-time and life with my new family was fun, fulfilling, and so very happy.
After just two years, my husband decided to take on a mistress: alcoholism and addiction to prescription drugs. The last twenty months of our marriage before I couldn’t take any more was awful. The disease gripped my prince by the jugular and would not let up on its grip. The abuse, mental and physical, started to take a toll on my own health and mental wellbeing. As with any narcissist, an addict only looks out for himself and will pass the blame for his addictions on to everyone else but themselves. So now I had to let his problems and addictions be his problems and not take them on to my shoulders. The only thing I can change is myself and no one else. It takes a great deal of courage to resign myself to this fact, but it is the healthiest way to live.
This was one of the hardest decisions to make in my life but I have to look after my wellbeing and continue to grow in the direction that is good for me. I have to keep boundaries intact and not let go of them, no matter what.
So at this time, my prince turned back into a frog and will remain there until he decides to change his life. I, on the other hand, am moving on. This relationship has taught me to place secure boundaries around any relationship I have in the future, even the one I have with myself. No addicts or recovering addicts allowed.
“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all.” ~ Maya Angelou ~
Q: In your own experience, is it hard to get a nonfiction book published today? How did you do it?
I decided that since my main goal of writing this book was to help one other woman get through a challenging transition, I would accomplish this best by self publishing with a print-on-demand company. This has been a wonderful experience with lots of hard work and fabulous learning experiences.
Q: What’s a typical day like for you?
I get up and write in my gratitude journal, read my daily meditations and do my morning pages that Julie Cameron taught in the Artist’s Way. I believe the words that I write, were meant to be printed from our creative master, and I am the tool used to say what I say. I do not believe in writer’s block s if there are no words coming to mind to write on a particular day then it was not meant I write that day. So I will go out and do something for me instead. For instance a long walk or hike in the mountains that surround me. I am an avid photographer, so exploring my city as a tourist relaxes me a fuels my creative side as I see life differently through a lens. So if I am not writing I am nuturing.
Q: What’s next for you?
I am enjoying the journey I am currently on traveling along this virtual book tour, and then I will buckle down and pick which of the many spoons I have in my soup bowl and produce my next piece of work.
Q: Thank you so much for this interview, Tamara. We wish you much success!
Thank you so much for the opportunity.