I am honored to have as my guest today Tim Kellis, author of Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage, for which he has been touring this month and last month on a virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion. What I would like to do is get to know the author behind the book more. Wouldn’t you?
Thank you for this interview, Tim. Let’s start with your childhood. Where did you grow up and what was your childhood like for you?
I grew up in St. Louis, the second oldest of four. We grew up relatively poor. My dad worked as a cab driver and my mom a secretary during my entire upbringing.
And my parents were really strict with us. We used to get spanked on a regular basis and were really kept isolated from the rest of the world. We rarely went on vacation, really only to visit my parents relatives in Ohio and Kansas. Our outlet was a campsite outside of St. Louis where my parents had a trailer.
My mom had selected my career when I was a kid to be a priest, so I studied the bible. Yes, I was an altar boy, but I have not stories.
What I enjoyed most as a child was playing soccer, a sport I have played since I was 5. And I was actually pretty good. I even played in college, where we were Big 8 champs (the precursor to the Big 12) 2 of my 4 years in college.
What was most important about my childhood was a cathartic experience I had at 25, when I forgave my parents for my “terrible” upbringing, really the only reason I believe I am able to promote the path to a happy marriage, forgiving your parents. I believe the biggest key to success is really falling in love with your parents because of the detrimental influences form those imbalanced relationships with our parents.
How about those teenage years? Good or bad?
What I remember most about my teenage years was always being in trouble. I was constantly grounded. And in high school I was the kid who was always trying to be accepted by the “in” crowd, so my classmates would always pick on me.
But I discovered that I was good in school. In junior high I was just an average student but my second semester of my Freshman year I scored a perfect 4.0 GPA and eventually graduated second in my class of 406 with a 4.1 GPA because of college prep classes.
I was also pretty active in sports, playing football and soccer. My dad, who was really into athletics, was always proud of our sports achievements, although my high school football team broke the record when I was there for the longest losing streak in the state of Missouri, where we lost every game my Junior and Senior year.
I also didn’t really date much in high school, not discovering girls until I went off to college. I actually didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 18, making dating really difficult, in another example of my parents “destroying” my childhood.
Who was your first crush?
I didn’t meet my first love until after I graduated from college, when I moved to Kansas City to work for AT&T. We met about a month after graduation and I immediately fell in love. Her name was Marcia. There was just one problem in my young, immature mind, she had a child from a previous marriage. When AT&T offered me a promotion, requiring me to move to Blacksburg, VA, I couldn’t pull the trigger and marry Marcia. Soon after I moved she met someone else, whom she eventually married. I was crushed.
How do you know love is for real?
To me the bottom line with love is when you meet someone that you cannot imagine ever living without. This is when you decide you have met your soul mate, someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, have children with, and grow old together.
The led to my absolute, utter confusion when at 36 I met someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, only to see that relationship end. This led to me researching and writing my book.
What’s the perfect romantic evening like for you?
Oh wow, excellent question. To me the most romantic evenings are those evenings while traveling. I love to travel. When you travel you get to step away from your daily existence, and what a wonderful time to spend with your love.
After a full day of activities, the perfect evening is returning back to the hotel room to get ready for a wonderful night out. First you find that romantic spot for dinner, and then you go out to a club for dancing.
And then you return back to the hotel room for an evening of passionate…
Favorite romantic movie?
I’ve always thought Sleepless in Seattle is the most romantic movie, the notion that there is someone out there for you and all you need to do is find that person. The buildup to their meeting is timeless. The reality is we spend so much time today looking for that right person and when that person does eventually come along then you finally can become whole. We are not meant to live our lives as adults alone.
What do you like to do for fun on Saturday afternoons?
Living in Florida I love anything to do with the water. The ocean is so accessible and there are pools everywhere. Maybe you spend the day on a boat, or at the beach, or just swimming at a pool. Saturday’s are so awesome because you don’t have the pressure of work to worry about. You get to take work off of your mind, if only for a short time.
Of all the places you have traveled, which location did you fall in love with?
After graduate school I traveled to Europe, visiting 9 cities in 30 days, by myself. That was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. And my favorite city by far was Rome. I am a huge history buff and there is no other city with such a culture of history as you find in Rome. I cannot wait to return.
Of all the places you haven’t traveled, where would you most likely want to go more than anywhere else?
I love traveling so much, and have been to so many places, that you ask a tough question. I would probably have to answer a place more historic than Rome, and that would be Greece, the birthplace of philosophy.
What’s the most favorite room of your house?
I would have to say the bedroom, where romance occurs. And I have finally discovered I love to study my dreams.
Do you like to entertain?
I am really quite sociable so yes I love to entertain, whether during the day or night on weekends. There is nothing like having your friends around.
Can you tell I’m running out of questions?
Nothing wrong with a lot of questions. The funny thing about that is I am almost done with my 2 month blog tour and have answered more questions than I could have ever imagined, but your questions have let me travel in my mind. Thank you for your questions.
Would you like me to stop asking you questions?
No, ask away.
LOL, okay, last question. Tell us one thing about Tim Kellis that no one knows and I’ll leave you alone.
One of the things I have really worked on recently is my emotional side. I have spent the last 20 years in a professional career filled with a logical approach to life that I have realized that I have missed out on another side of my mental life. The belief that a guy with feelings is gay is not true. In fact, having feelings is actually awesome. I hope someday to be as emotionally developed as I am logically developed.
Thank you for coming, Tim, and good luck with Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage!
About the Book:
The journey through “Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage” includes a trip through history, where the most significant lessons civilization has learned over the last few thousand years are used to demonstrate not only the way to set up a positive relationship, but the causes of that relationship turning negative.
Additionally, I dive into the science of psychology to answer the most basic question anyone asks who goes through the pain of divorce, “why didn’t we work out”?
The basic premise of the book is that we have a 50% divorce rate yet there doesn’t appear to be anything happening to help solve this problem. Just because divorce has become a significant part of our culture doesn’t mean we should simply sit back while countless families suffer through the agony of splitting up.
The toll to society tomorrow because of our culture of divorce today is impossible to determine but future generations will have to deal with this change to the culture that has occurred over the last two generations.
For the first time in history I elaborate on a psychological solution to our psychological problems so that couples can learn how to change the direction of their negative relationships. In essence, the psychological objective is to understand what happens mentally between two people who make one of the most important decisions of their lives, to get married.
The objective of this book is to provide real, logical help to couples so that they can learn how to stay out of the divorce trap. The bottom line is to learn how to set up your relationship so that you can maintain a happy, healthy, harmonious, loving, affectionate, intimate marriage.
You can purchase Tim Kellis’ Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage by clicking here!